07 Oct MONTHLY MEDITATION – OCTOBER 2019: I put myself in your hands and give myself to feel
Many times couples come to me to resolve their conflicts, to revive their sexuality or to live it from another place and I find out that they hardly spend quality time and presence with each other.
There seems there is no time in general to stop, to feel, to awaken the sensuality that arises naturally when one is present in the body and let goes of control.
There is time for work, schools, bank, management, housework and leisure, but there is no time for true intimacy, for the timeless space that creates true intimacy and nutrition.
In the West we live dedicated to well-being, apparently to pleasure and comfort but I find a very great resistance to pleasure, joy and real ecstasy.
The requirements for the heart and body and soul to be filled with joy and ecstasy are for the heart to be relaxed, the body to be fluid and the soul free, for there to be presence and vitality, awareness and love.
In practical terms, that there is time and freedom of concepts, concerns and expectations, and openness so that the energy is expressed freely and in confidence with what happens in the moment.
What prevents us from letting go of control and giving up even one hour a day or some moments during this day, to simply be, not to do, to be with the being of one and with the being of the other?
You can make a meditative game from time to time that is called: I put myself in your hands and give myself to feel:
Take a few hours for each of you, in the same day or one day one of you and the other on another occasion of meeting.
One surrenders, releases control of what is to happen and the other has the purpose of leading him to have tender, relaxing, pleasurable, joyful, blissfull sensations, etc … Invite his nervous system to relax, open to joy, to surrender, to release control.
He who focuses and directs must do it from a place of relaxation, presence, listening, allowing himself to feel the other and inviting his energy to rest from the tension of control, the rigidity of control, the fear of letting go first and then to nourish and enjoy, to express and expand. To listen and feel the energy of the other and thus guide it, you have to improvise, you have to flow and create in the moment, you have to be present consciousness and observe your own form of control and fear of not doing it well, of doing too much, too little, etc … We already know that tension, it’s old, continue breathing, flowing, feeling the body and the heart.
Involve your own body, feel, smell, breathe, dance, caress, rock, touch, sing, let your creativity unfold and take charge with love for you and the other and find your own pleasure in it.
If something is not of your pleasantness, do not be overwhelmed, stop, feel your hands on the body, feel the natural intelligence and the dynamic silence of two bodies contacting, feel the soul that connects through them, listen and let the feeling guide you. Give space to not know what will be the direction that will happen through you. You are the guide and for that you have to open up to be guided, not by the mind that is a servant, but by the present consciousness.
The one who gives himself, delivers any expectation, idea, control of what is going to happen, naturally still present in his body and listening to his feelings and sensations, validating and respecting them.
Give yourself permission to let go, to surrender, to not have to deal with, or decide, or judge, or compare, or analyse, or put, or remove. Your only responsibility is to become aware of your body and your emotions and of your Being, that is, to experience yourself, to allow yourself to surrender of control, cry, enjoy, express, rest, let yourself be without the tension of being someone rigid and concrete and allow that the other directs you, pamper you and channel ways of intimate presence so that you feel, trust and enjoy.
Be present feeling the rhythm of your breathing, relax the exhalation, feel which parts are more relaxed, which get tense, how the mouth of the stomach feels, the jaws of the pelvic floor, the neck, … allow the thoughts to pass a long, tell your internal secretary to take a small vacation, that you will attend to the affairs of the world later and give yourself to this present moment with total presence and love for you.
This meditative game can imply that the sexual fire moves, if this happens focus more on relaxing and expanding energy than on creating an intense excitement that generates tension and contraction and seeks explosive liberation.
The guide maintains a present and meditative climate creating space for pleasure if it wakes up, keeping the attention on the breathing, expanding energy throughout the body, with caresses, dancing with the bodies, creating vibrations with the voice, is a infinite field of possibilities that appears if you stay in the presence breathing and relaxing.
The guide can prepare the meeting space in the most comfortable and beautiful way you like, with music or whatever you want.
Before you begin, (you will have already decided who gives himself and who guides) sit quietly in front of each other at a distance that allows you to enter into yourself and allow your self to bring all your attention to the body, to the present moment, to feel life happening in the space of your consciousness. Enter into a loving presence within you and allow the space and silence of your being to manifest and thoughts to dissipate like clouds.
It is not an exercise of domination, it is not about pushing or bending, or being bossy, that is another research topic.
Here the premise is to surrender to the subtleties of pleasure, to feel the subtleties in your way of controlling the energy, tensing it, sustain it, judging it, etc … and learn to surrender from relaxation and trust. That way adrenaline of contractive excitement is not created, which is pleasant but not nutritious, nor encourages love, nor trust, nor peace and we open the door for energy to expand full and precious in infinite and creative ways, or for energy to rest deeply in the confidence of being witnessed and guided with love.
Be complicit in the game and not opponents, speak what is necessary, sing, recite poetry, listen to the silence, the warmth of the body, the rhythm of the heart, feel the breath, the hairs of the arm, the softness of the lobe, etc …
Discover the beauty of surrendering to this present moment by allowing yourself to be embraced by life.
Be aware of your resistance to let go of control to simply enjoy feeling in full presence. For some it’s a frightening experience at the beginning, for others it’s a deep longing that is not allowed, for each one is different the way they learned to protect themselves from love, to become soft and fluffy and to feel that vertigo and that freedom.